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Mielipiteitä ja arvostelua! Tän kerran edes.
 
I Am Tortoise
 
Open in the mid-sea acres
No waves carry well news of
fallen lands and dying dolphins
Lost inside the maze of oceans
Told to carry whispers from far shores
Never untold how it ended before
Whales of giantly splendor
Turned to oils now for perilous land-dwellers
The turtle's shell so wisely placed along
 
Coastal towers start to pop out
Purple horizons echo a shout of
Unplaced wonders drifting across
the seven seas of Brother Cross
Shelled by bombs from dying plains and
Oasis' of uncolonized dunes of sand
Mice of tiny splendor
Turned inside out now for perilous land-dwellers
The turtle's shell so wisely placed along
 
Pushing up to meet the daylight
Turns head in wonder too bright of
Suns and moons and earth in middle
Belong to chosen one crazy cradle
Mountain walls are in need to speak to us
Plaguing their ears the wails of walrus'
Hawks of mid-size splendor
Turned in stone now for perilous land-dwellers
The turtle's shell so wisely placed along
 
Beloved by his hollowed halls
No-one hears the sirens' calls
Echoeing in those hollowed halls
No-one minds the sirens' calls
Blown by the wind in hollowed halls
No-one knows they're sirens' calls
Dust setled on the bones of people hazed inside a mist of red steam in correspondance with long since stopped all so lone dead sirens' song
Knowing but not understanding ways to form new nature in alembics of uncreated intelligence the turtle's shell so wisely placed along
Stars shining through the roof of sky in the dark time it's the natural time of rewind untill they'll hit the terminal kong
 
Many places still to catch on
Little birds await to hatch out of
Their eggs with their twin brothers
All to discover unfamiliar mothers
To breed raise care and free you of your
Fear to wander to the sea off the shore
Tortoises of shelled splendor
Turned to dead for perilous land-dwellers
The turtle's shell was wisely placed along
 
I do not bargain I am the tortoise
I do not bargain I am the tortoise
I do not bargain I am the tortoise
I do not need gain I am the tortoise

Hyviä kielikuvia. Olen muuten sitä mieltä, että kaikissa hyvissä englanninkielisissä lyriikoissa täytyy mainita "whisper"- sana, ja löytyihän se...
Jos nyt hakemalla hakee jotain negatiivista, niin pitkähän tuo oli, biisiksi tehtynä sooloineen päivineen kestoa tulee varmaan väkisinkin vähintään 10 min...

Jos nyt hakemalla hakee jotain negatiivista, niin pitkähän tuo oli, biisiksi tehtynä sooloineen päivineen kestoa tulee varmaan väkisinkin vähintään 10 min...
 
Nyt on hyvä olla ylpeä kun biisistä löytää negatiivisen asian vain hakemalla hakemalla. Oli niin hyvä kommentti että saat plussaa.
 
Eihän noin vapaamittaisen tekstin pohjalta synnykään muuta, kuin progea. =)
 
>:) Möhöhö! Kaksi ekaa säettä on sitten tuulen huminaa. Ja kitaristi vinguttaa kitaraa ja apinoi valaitten ääntelyä/vastaavaa. J3$h!